


Stay With Me

by themysticalsong



Series: Tumblr Prompts [32]
Category: Doctor Who RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-24
Updated: 2015-03-24
Packaged: 2018-03-19 11:45:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3608874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themysticalsong/pseuds/themysticalsong
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Her own memory of the accident is hazy at its best. Piercing lights, the strange screech as he tried to stop the car…and the impact. All she remembers is that and the numbness she felt in that moment. It’s only been a week and she is still under the effect of all those painkillers. She can be forgiven for forgetting the details.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stay With Me

 

 

Alex tries not to focus too much on the bland surroundings as she gently pushes the door to the ICU open. She has been in hospitals before, shot a show there— and yet, they tend to make her uneasy, now more than ever. The sight of his pale form against the standard hospital sheets is what stops her from drawing her steps back.

 

Her own memory of the accident is hazy at its best. Piercing lights, the strange screech as he tried to stop the car…and the impact. All she remembers is that and the numbness she felt in that moment. It’s only been a week and she is still under the effect of all those painkillers. She can be forgiven for forgetting the details.

 

"Matt", she breathes as she takes a seat in the chair next to his bed, reaching out for his hand with a trembling hand. His hand is limp in hers. Cold, as compared to the warmth she is used to. For a while she is unable to speak another word, only quietly observing the prone form of the man she loves.

 

"You know", she brushes her lips against the back of his palm, "this has to be the stupidest way I have seen someone avoid wedding preparations. A coma, seriously? That’s what you chose? Good thing I’m hopelessly in love with you." Her voice cracks as she tries to laugh, "No. I know your injuries are worse than mine. You did hit your head quite hard…"

 

The sight of him, with different tubes entering and leaving his body— at any other time, he would have joked and laughed with her until a nurse shushed him up, but now— words hurt in her throat. But she knows if she stopped, she probably wouldn’t be able to visit him again because it hurts too much.

 

So she continues to talk and make silly jokes for another hour, trying not to miss how his laugh isn’t ringing out with hers anymore. She almost misses the creaking noise as a nurse enters and glances apologetically towards Matt, “I think that’s my cue. Someone must be coming to check up on me too, and may not like my absence…I can’t really wander off like this. Hmm. I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”, she kisses his temple before leaving, “Good night, darling.”

 

It’s not easy to watch him like this— hurts more than she ever thought possible— and yet, Alex comes day after day, taking the same spot next to him, and talking about whatever comes to her mind. Sometimes its about her day, how no one really listens to her anymore, stories of past adventures and misadventure. Sometimes she reads to him- novels, poetry, newspaper— and sometimes, she just sits there, fiddling with her ring, and gazes at him, quietly studying the changes in features that were once alight with mischief. She sits there until a nurse comes in to check up on him, giving him a very unapologetic smile and shrug when the poor man reacts to the sudden change in temperature.

 

But sometimes it’s just too hard.

 

"Seven weeks, Matthew. Its been seven weeks", Alex puts her book down in her lap, and fixes him with a look, "Don’t you think it’s enough? Every day I hear them speculate about you…do you have any idea how badly it hurts? Least you can do is give me a sign, Matt." She waits for a moment, leaning back in her chair with a sigh when nothing happens, "Didn’t think it would work on you." She adds with a small laugh that sounds hollow even to her own ears, "You’re just too stubborn, darling."

 

She resumes her reading, not really focusing at the words anymore. It’s a text she knows by heart, one of his favourites that he has read to her too many times to count- she really doesn’t need to look at the text to recall the words. Her shoulders shake as tears roll down her cheeks with every word.

 

"I— uh—", she leans forward to drop a kiss against his temple, "I’ll see you tomorrow, darling. It doesn’t really matter how much time you take", a watery smile curls at her lips, "I’ll always be here. Good night, darling."

 

"A..lex"

 

She is almost at the door when his breathy rasp reaches her. Fearful of what she may find, Alex slowly turns around, a tentative smile playing across her lips as he repeats her name, parched throat making his words come out as a harsh whisper.

 

"You do take your time coming around, darling."

 

—x—

 

For someone who was there every day Matt was in hospital, Alex is surprisingly late the day doctors clear him for going home. His ‘welcome back’ party is almost over by the time she is able to reach, last of the guests just about to leave. With an apologetic glance, she turns to look for Matt who is nowhere to be seen.

 

She finds him in the garden. Quietly scratching something on the wooden table with his nails, he looks less like the 33 year old she had agreed to marry, and more like a 3 year old angry with the world. He brightens up the moment he spots her.

 

"Alex!"

 

_Oh she had missed this bright grin._

 

He doesn’t give her time to respond. Before she can so much as smile back, his lips are on hers, his goofy smile eliciting a laugh from her as he tightens his arm around her when she stumbles.

 

Matt pulls back with a gasp, resting his forehead against hers, “God, Kingston, you do know how to make a bloke wait an eternity.”

 

Its hard to decide if his playful growl is more amusing or if its his complain that makes her want to chuckle. “Says the man who decided to sleep for seven weeks. Nice way to avoid a wedding, Mr. Smith.”

 

He growls once again and pulls her to him, his arms tightening around her, “No. I still get to complain.” His tone suddenly becomes serious, “You have no idea what everyone’s been telling me since morning. Every time I asked about you—”

 

She had known it would eventually happen, but it’s too soon. And, it hurts. Alex tries to keep the pain out of her voice, and looks up at him, “What?”

 

The tears in his eyes are more painful than she could ever imagine. “I told them you were there. Every day. I wasn’t sleeping, you know. I could hear everything”, his voice cracks, “Or, at least your voice. I heard. And I know you were there. But every time I asked anyone where you were, they just..anyway”, he shakes his head, and once again smiles down at her, “you are now here, and we have a wedding to plan, Ms. Kingston. Now, I’m not too keen on a big ceremony; a small do would be just perfect—”

 

"They aren’t wrong, Matthew."

 

He pauses midsentence, tilting his head and fixing her with a look that demands explanation. Alex clears her throat, “They aren’t wrong. I know what they could have possibly said, and they’re right.”

 

"No", there is a hint of fear in his voice as he clasps her hand in his hers, and for a moment she wonders if he really can’t feel the difference, "It can’t be right. They- they said you died after 3 weeks in coma. But you were there- I know you were there every day; just not the first week, but you were there. And you are here—"

 

"But I’m not really here, Matt", she nearly cries, "I’m not. I—I am here, yes, but I’m here only for you, Matt", tears burn their way down her cheeks, "I couldn’t just let go. Not like that. Not when you were—"

 

"So it’s true. You really…"

 

He trails off, unable to complete the sentence. It hurts, but she manages to give him a comforting smile, “No. Not completely. It’s as true as you want it to be, Matt. I’m here right now because I want to be here; because you are keeping me here. Others can’t see me, because for them, I’m not here anymore. Only you can see me, or listen to me. As long as you want.”

 

"And what if I refuse to let go? What if I ask you to stay? Will you stay?"

 

The small child is back again, lost, confused and above all, hurting. “I will.”

 

It’s an impossible promise, she knows. No matter how much they may want, at some point, he will have to let go. Neither can he hold her, nor can she stay forever. Not if she wants him to move on and have a happy, healthy life. But for now, it’s enough.

 

 

 

 


End file.
